13 Ways to Cope Better With Change
13 Ways to Cope Better With Change
There was an interesting story on the ABC program “Australian Story” called “Beating the Blues”. It was about the ex-footballer Greg Inglis and how he overcame his mental health challenges throughout his career. Straight after this there was a program on ABC’s “Four Corners” about the tragic death of a young boy at the hands of his father who was also suffering from a severe mental illness. These 2 documentaries are totally unrelated. However what really stood out for me is that in each case when there was a sudden change or upheaval in their lives, it brought about a severe downward spiral in their mental health.
With Greg Inglis, for instance when he had to leave a professional position and hence no longer had to undergo his daily rigorous training routine, his mental health spiralled down into depression and addiction. In the case of the man who caused the death of his son, he was also going through a huge change and upheaval in his life. His young son had just started school, hence the father had to go through the loss of not being able to enjoy and spend time with his son at home 24/7 anymore. Even for those who don’t suffer from a mental health challenge, it is still a huge grief and trauma losing your toddler to school, after you had once been able to love and spend time with them almost on a full time basis. It’s a huge loss and adjustment for one’s life emotionally and mentally.
These accounts are a reminder that often those living with mental health challenges can often find periods of change extremely difficult to cope with. Hence it could be a good idea when helping people manage their mental health or even when managing your own, to try to anticipate life changes beforehand and even prepare for them so that they do not take us by surprise triggering a sudden unexpected episode or period of severe un-wellness. The following are some possible action steps to help manage large or even small changes so that one’s mental health may be prevented from spiralling out of control.
Suggestions For How to Manage Change
1. Anticipate & Plan for Life Changes: Life often throws us unexpected “curve balls” all the time. However there may be certain life changes that you know will happen well before-hand and can prepare for. Talking to a therapist or support friend can help to identify what these events may be. Some future events, even if very positive may also require major mental and emotional stress. For instance starting a new course of study you have always wanted to do, may be very exciting, but can at the same time also be a possible source of stress since it will require a lot of mental and physical energy, less time with friends and so on.
2. Categories for Planning: Big changes such as: a child leaving home, moving house, changing jobs, starting a new course and so on, can become overwhelming when going through them. Hence take steps to put into place how you can manage these changes so you have supports in place to help make the transition less traumatic. You could split your steps into different areas eg. a) Mental/ Psychological b) Social c) Physical d) Emotional and e) Spiritual. Alternatively create headings that are relevant for your particular needs at the time.
3. Keep active and busy: Plan your day or week ahead. In some cases eg. the ending of a job or a child leaving to start school there can be left a huge gap of free time with nothing to do. There can be a normal grieving period. However it is not wise to remain idle for too long. This can send the mind racing into depression and negative thinking spiralling into a major episode. Instead try to keep a regular routine of things you still enjoy doing, while you plan your next move eg. do regular exercise, go to the library and borrow books to read, do some volunteer work to pass the time. Try cooking some new recipes to widen your skills. Often keeping busy with some productive activity and a schedule, can keep severe mental health episodes at bay
4. Emotional Health: try to put a strategy in place for when you start getting depressed or psychotic during your life changes. For instance if you haven’t seen your therapist for a while, check to see if they would be available, if in a future emergency you may need to call upon them. Talk to some good support friends or peer support people if they have time to listen & chat should you ever find yourself in a difficult time in the future. It’s always better to plan these things when you feel well. If you wait until you go into a pit of depression or feel suicidal it can be a lot harder.
5. Study Difficulties: in the future if you encounter difficulties in your studies in terms of understanding difficult concepts you could check out beforehand avenues for extra tutoring. Some campuses may provide extra free tutoring services for people with disabilities.
6. Spiritual: if you usually attend mass or a discussion group with your local church, try not to give these up just because of a heavier study workload. These spiritual outlets can give you strength and vital prayer support to help you succeed in your studies.
7. Physical: try to keep up some regular exercise while you do your studies or go through a big transition. You may not have the time to do as much as before, but even once or twice a week is still beneficial. Exercise helps to stimulate oxygen to the brain so you can think more clearly.
8. Social: plan in the future to still make time to have fun and relaxation. Cultivate friendships where you can just be yourself and where people will just accept you unconditionally. This is important to have a balanced lifestyle especially when you undertake study or major life changes.
9. Lists: lists can be a helpful organisational tool when going through major stressful changes like moving house. You can compile a list of essential things to do as you make this big move. Having it written down can overcome the stress of fearing you may forget to do important tasks.
10. Write Down Good Ideas: Whenever you think or hear of good ideas that will assist you in your big life changes try to write them down straight away. Perhaps note them down in a special “Ideas Book”. In this way you will have them altogether and won’t be in danger of losing or throwing away little bits of paper lying around everywhere. In your planning time you can go back to these ideas and act on them.
11. Carry a Small Notebook: Try to carry a small notebook wherever you go, so you can write down any good ideas you hear or think of. Sometimes these can pop into your head at the most unexpected moments eg. while exercising, while socialising with friends, while on the train or while shopping for groceries. This often happens because our mind may be more relaxed at these times and hence have more space to receive creative ideas.
12. Change of Seasons: even a change of weather season may cause significant stress to people with a mental health challenge. The key is to be aware of these things and try to take steps to help cushion these changes. A sudden change of season to Winter can feel stressful, for instance, because the body needs to use more energy to keep warm.
13. Summary
a) Any type of change whether it be large or small can often trigger and exacerbate a person’s existing mental health condition.
b) Hence it can be beneficial to anticipate beforehand impending life changes then plan strategies to help cushion these stresses
c) Strategies may be split into the following suggested areas:- mental, psychological, emotional, physical, social, physical and spiritual